Proof of the Dying
by Another Night Without You
Summary: For years, Riku had always been sure that he, Sora and Kairi would always be best friends. At least until he found out that they had fallen in love with each other, which unfortunately had created a love triangle. Not only that, it couldn't get worse when Sora told him that he was facing his death soon. Riku/Sora one-sided love, Riku centric. Character's death. Multi chapter.
1. Beginning of the End

A/N: Hello! I decided to write another multi-chaptered fic with tragedy genre. I always love sad stories :') Little note, Vor means "Spring" in Icelandic, Sommer means "Summer" in German and Hiver means "Winter" in French. Also, there will be vague (really vague...) hints about Riku's secret which will be revaled throughout the story. Enjoy! –Anwy.

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**Proof of the Dying**

**.:: Chapter I – Beginning of the End ::.**

_Monday, 15 September 20XX_

_Dear diary... Uh, it was such a cheesy way to start a diary. I won't use that anymore. Okay, this is my first time writing a diary. I write this diary for a reason, but I don't need to state it here, right? I won't forget my own reason to start this stuff. The other reason, I do this for the sake to keep everything in line—I don't want to forget anything before it's late. Well, who'd think __I__, Riku Hiver, would write a diary? Sounds like a boring thing that high school girl like Kairi would do. __But again, I have my own reasons. __Well, let's just start with what happened today, I guess._

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><p>Three teenagers were sitting on the bed of grass, relaxing right under an enormous tree, hiding under its leaves which casted shadow underneath. A boy with natural tanned skin, skinny body and brown spiky hair, Sora Sommer, was wolfing down his lunch in an unexpected speed, not tasting it, just filling his rumbling tummy. A pretty girl with small frame, night sky colored pair of eyes and red wine hair, Kairi Vor, was talking animatedly with another boy who had white skin, was slightly muscular, reserved and silver haired, certainly Riku Hiver who was patiently accompanying the girl in their small chat. All of them were enjoying their lunch time together just like every other day.<p>

"Sora," Riku spoke, after his conversation with the girl finished. Cool breeze was blowing, caressing the silver hair which then drawn backward by the owner. "You might choke and die if you eat like that."

Irritated, Sora 'hmph'ed to him in lieu of answer, but still not slowing down his eating pace. Kairi laughed at her friend's demeanor even though it almost happened every single time they had lunch—well, Kairi always tried to keep everything light and happy for them, so she laughed and smiled a lot. Riku shook his head absentmindedly, minding that his free advice was miserably ignored by his best friend.

"He would die happily if so!" Kairi joked, patting the brunet's head gently. Riku laughed along with his friends, clearly amused with Sora being teased. The teased boy was jokingly pouted, but then joined them into the laughter.

"Hey, Riku, Kairi." After swallowing, the brunet called for his friends who quickly turned their attention to him. "Have you ever thought... what would happen if you died?"

"Well, if I die, surely you guys would be sad." Riku chuckled, amused by the sudden pop quiz. It was such a weird question, frankly. But the silver haired teenager knew that Sora was always full of surprises so, even though this one was quite suspicious, it didn't really strike him as odd.

"Yeah. Our parents—"

"I don't have any," Sora interrupted flatly.

"Mine clearly wouldn't," Riku deadpanned with an edge on his voice.

"—and also Olette, Roxas, Hayner, Pence and the others, too. Pretty much everyone but Seifer and his gang, I suppose." Kairi added, without glancing at Sora. She mused at the question for few seconds, now thinking more about it, imagining it inside her mind. "Why did you ask that?"

The brunet let out a doubtful laugh after he gulped down the last mouthful of his lunch. "Just thinking."

The bell suddenly rang, indicating that they had to be back to their class soon enough. Three of them stood up, tidied up their lunch leftovers and headed back to their class. Kairi went back first as Sora and Riku were on the same class. While marching down through the hallways together, Riku noticed that Sora was unmistakably quiet that day, which made him wonder. The peculiar brunet was usually all jolly with his goofy grin tightly plastered on his face. Well, the smile was there, but Riku could feel that something was definitely missing. The usual Sora wasn't there at that day.

"Sora?" Riku nudged his best friend's arm, minding the fact that his best friend had been spacing out and almost walked passing their class. He was sure something must be wrong. "We're here already."

"Oopsie." Sora laughed faintly, but it was really weird and awkward. It was languorous—at least compared to Sora's usual one.

"What's wrong?" Gripping Sora's shoulder tightly, Riku inched his body closer to the former. The proximity was raging between their almost-touching bodies, clearly demanding Sora to answer as he had been cornered.

Surely it made Sora felt uneasy because he decided to push Riku back a little bit even though the bigger man didn't budge an inch. He hadn't dared to look into his best friend's eyes, even after Riku forcefully lifted the brunet's chin so they would have made an eye contact. Sora still avoided the blue green piercing eyes intentionally, not wanting Riku to see into him.

"Talk, Sora!" After years being best friend, Riku knew that they had always been inseparable. There was nothing they couldn't say to each other—or at least it was how it was supposed to be. Riku was undoubtedly sure that he had always been honest to Sora about everything but, in exception, there were only two things he couldn't tell to him.

The first one was his feeling. Throughout the years, Riku had started to realize that his feeling towards Sora was different lately. He had crossed the "friend" limit—he fell in love with his best friend. But, of course, Riku Hiver, the most popular boy in high school who unmistakably had a gorgeous face and best abs, who always got straight As in his classes, who had stacks of love letters slipped into his locker—the "perfect boy"—couldn't admit that he was actually gay and had fallen in love with one of his best friend. He was such a prude when it was about love. He always wanted to be seen as an independent man who wouldn't be bothered with such "stupid" thing as love. It was (supposed to be) his life determination, not to be blinded, not to be enslaved by love. He used to say to himself repeatedly (in daily basis) that he wouldn't fall in love. But then everything turned into smoke, evaporated in less than a second, when he felt the fuzzy warmth inside his stomach, when his mood lightened up, when his heart beat faster—all of them happened when Sora was around. That feeling was indelible; Riku was sure, after few times trying to neglect it and ended up into a pure fiasco. His head would say _nonono you don't love him _but his heart would always go for _you love him more than anything else in this world_. At the end he could only accept the fact that he was in love with Sora.

The second one? He had no intention to even mentioned about it to the brunet, so he thought it would be better off this way for both of them. But still, it could be predicted that Sora would find it out sooner or later.

"I will tell you later, okay?" Finally Sora had the courage to look straight into the teal orbs that had been staring into his soul relentlessly. "We need to start our class, Riku."

Riku was relieved that he would let him know, but he was also felt betrayed that Sora actually had something he hadn't told him. It meant that Sora had been hiding something from them. Well, he couldn't fully blame Sora; he had been hiding few things from the boy too, after all.

"Fine, we _will_ talk." Riku scowled by the fact that he had to wait until the class was over just to know what Sora would tell to him. He would have known if Sora had told something to Kairi—the girl always told everything to Riku, with or without him asking. Now there was clearly one thing that made Riku worried: it must be something _really_ important that even Sora would hide it from Riku and Kairi.

Giving up, the teal color eyed teenager decided to follow Sora who already walked into their class room. Well, the waiting had to be worth it, he thought.

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><p>The bell had rung for the last time and the students rushed quickly out of the class, at least most of them. Two boys were still in their seats until one of them stood up and walked upon the other. Riku approached Sora, slowly and steadily in each step which was echoing with the deafening silence inside the almost empty class room. He grabbed a chair next to Sora, dragged it, placed it near his best friend and finally sat on it.<p>

"Promise me, Riku. Don't tell this, _any _of this, to Kairi. I don't want her to know." The brunet smiled—a sad one—to Riku who was staring at him, completely confused.

"Why? What's wrong?" His voice strained, almost breaking with the raised suspicion. Why would Sora ask him not to tell a thing to Kairi? Sora had always been open to Riku and Kairi, and keeping a secret to one of them was something he couldn't comprehend. Such thing had never happened before.

"Well, there are two things I want to tell you, actually. First," the brunet blushed sheepishly and then scratched his head. Playing with his brown spiky strands, he continued, "I have a crush on Kairi."

For the first time in 17 years, Riku felt the biggest fear he ever had: being broken hearted.

Of course, Riku had seen how Sora acted around Kairi and, to be honest, he had kind of expected the day when Sora would tell him about this. It was just he _was not_ and _would never_ be ready to hear such thing from the person he loved wholly. His heart fell, if it was possible, it would have been buried inside the ground, already making its way into the earth core. Riku held the suffocating sadness inside his heart, forcing himself not to look disappointed. Certainly he would have run away if he could.

"That's great," he said, trying to sound excited with the "tidings". Riku didn't know exactly what else to say as his heart ached right away with the brunet's confession hence his mind didn't work properly; at least that was what he felt.

"I think it has always been there for a long time, you know? It's just... I just realized about it lately." Just exactly like Riku's case. Anyway, if so, why would Sora look so sad? It was supposed to be a good thing, right? The brunet still had the heart-breaking smile on his lips. "But honestly I don't want such thing happened to us."

"What do you mean by that?" Heartbroken and confused, Riku could only go along in their conversation, led by Sora per se.

"I'm just afraid if one of us fell in love to each other, it would break our friendship. I don't want the three of us to be separated." Sora sighed, shoulders drooping out of worry. At this time, Sora looked much more mature than all of his friends had thought. Sometimes Riku admitted that Sora was much more independent, even compared to him, who chose to live on his own. Being an orphan, Sora had gone through a lot of things in his life. But the brunet was wise enough to keep his bubbly personality; he decided to take his luck-less life positively rather than loathing it. That, had successfully made Riku respected the boy more than anyone else in the humankind.

Riku wasn't sure how to respond. Yes, he had thought about the same thing as well. Despite not wanting to coming out, their friendship was another concern that he had. But all he could do now was to cheer Sora up, making him sure that everything would be okay. After all, Kairi was a nice girl and they had known each other for years. At least Riku knew if Sora would date Kairi, he would be in the good hand. Kairi would take care of Sora, and the silver haired teenager could watch—or maybe guard—Sora from afar. He never wanted to be an obstacle in Sora's life in every possible way. _Maybe_, just maybe, Riku thought, it would have been better off that way.

"It's okay, Sora. I'm sure we will be fine. I mean, we've been friends for years, and such thing like love wouldn't break our friendship, would it?" Half heartedly, he forced those words out from his throat. But he had determined to support his loved one unconditionally. "Don't you trust our friendship, Sora?"

Sora chuckled, as if laughing at himself. He was a foolish, he thought. But it wasn't wrong be worried about that, either. Their friendship was priceless and he wouldn't trade it even for the world. "I guess you're right. But it's not like I'd tell Kairi soon. Maybe when I'm ready."

"Take your time. You will be ready when the time comes." Why he should be in such situation? Riku wondered, cursing the gods for making his love life miserably wrong. Let's just change the topic, he decided. "You said there were two things you wanted to say. What's the other one?"

"Ah, the other thing. Um... About this one, not only Kairi, but don't tell _anyone _else. I trust you, Riku." Sora's eyes suddenly clouded with something that Riku couldn't read. Slowly, he began to speak, his voice slightly trembling. "Riku... what will happen if _I _die?"

Riku's heart was pounding erratically inside the confining rib cage. He didn't know what would happen if Sora died. Even contradicting his own logic, Riku knew that living without Sora would be... pointless. But, _what_ exactly _would happen_ if Sora died? He, obviously, didn't know and didn't want to know about it. Sad? It would be much more beyond that. Lonely? Heck, even Bermuda Triangle would be a better place to live as long he was with Sora. Anyway, what was wrong with Sora and the question?

Realizing his best friend didn't have any intention to make any other word, Sora continued. "Surely you notice that I've been having nosebleeds lately, right, Riku? Also, I get tired easily." The brunet forced a smile, curling his lips upwards but then giving up after he realized it didn't make everything any better.

Of course Riku noticed it. And the silver haired man had repeatedly asked Sora if he was okay and needed any help when his nose started to bleed, but the crush had never taken it seriously. Anyway, he didn't answer, but he nodded to let Sora know that he was still listening.

"I went to the doctor at the other day." Sora, the only person that Riku thought deserved more love than anyone else in this world almost burst into tears. His voice became lower, stuttering, on the verge of crying. Riku hadn't had the heart to see his crush like that, but there was nothing he could do.

"What did the doctor say?" Finally, Riku collected his guts and managed to talk even though it was weak and full of doubts. Curiosity kills the cat? Fuck that. He had to know.

"He said I have a cancer," he said, and then he cried, "a Chronic Lymphocytic Leukemia." Droplets of salty tears fell down from the cerulean blue eyes, wetting Sora's sun tanned skin, perfectly crushing Riku's heart for the second time. The plaintive sob became louder, slicing through the dead silence surrounding them and Sora had no intention to stop doing so. He couldn't say any other thing while Riku was silenced by the brunet's wail. He felt the ground crumbling under his feet, he felt the air sucked out from his lungs, he felt the earth falling into the black hole, he felt the universe shattering into pieces and, until that very moment, he had never thought he would want to die.

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><p>AN: I've heard people say to write what you know, so I have decided to write about few things that I know: being kindly rejected by my crush after giving everything I could give even though at the end it means nothing, seeing my crush being rejected and depressed and there was definitely nothing I could do to help, knowing my crush have a brain cancer and also being left by my father because of cancer. So, this story has fragments of my life experience that I will try to pour into my writing :) I hope the feelings reached you guys. Please leave some reviews, tell me if my work is actually good or bad. Feedbacks are always appreciated :) –Anwy.


	2. By My Side

**Proof of the Dying**

**.:: Chapter II –**** By My Side ****::.**

_Thursday, 18 September 20XX_

_I've been neglecting Sora for a while__..__. I didn't go to school for 2 days—I really don't want to see him. To be honest, I was expecting him to somehow approach me, either by texting, calling, or maybe a visit or two to my apartment, but he never c__ame__. It was a futile hope. For __2__ days, I have been thinking __that__ Sora telling me about his cancer is something wrong in my life. It would be wrong if he didn't, but it would be wrong as well if he did so (which has already happened__, and it's just _so_ wrong__). What a dilemma. __Out__ of the entire living person in this world, why should it be Sora?_

_Anyway, it was Kairi who kept calling me even though I declined her calls and at the end she decided to le__ave__ some messages. She kept asking if I was okay and needed any help. But I can't even tell her what __is__ wrong, so there's no way that she could help me. No one could._

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><p><em>From: Kairi.<em>

_I__ hope you're doing okay, Riku. We missed you. Are you coming to school today? It's been 2 days._

Riku sighed and put his phone back into his trousers' pocket. It was only 2 days and he had already gotten, like, 12 texts from Kairi. The auburn haired girl seemed to be worried to Riku to the point that the teen thought it was a bit too much. Riku pulled his car on the parking spot and then he got off from his car. He left his white convertible and walked towards the builing, heading to his class. Riku had decided to turn up at school that day and there he was, standing in front of the classroom's door. Despite his pounding head, he had no other reason to stay longer at his empty, desolated apartment. Grimacing at the pain on his head, he forced himself to get into his classroom. As expected, Sora was there along with Kairi, both looking no other than worried. When the brunet turned his face and saw the silver haired's presence, he smiled worryingly.

"Riku! Where have you been?" Sora's eyes didn't leave from Riku, not even a second.

"Why didn't you come to school?" Kairi gripped his wrist, looking concerned than ever.

"I'm sorry, guys. I wasn't feeling great back then, but I'm fine now." The silver haired teen smiled, trying to assure his friends that he was okay.

"I hope you're really okay, Ri. Remember the last time you did something like this? You ended up on the hospital with a broken leg which wasn't supposed to be _that_ bad if you had told us earlier." The crimson haired girl folded her arms in front of her chest; her expression clearly showed that she wasn't happy with the past event.

"I'm really okay now." Riku laughed it off, waving his hand dismissively. "But it was 2 years ago, Kairi. How could you remember that?"

Some pink tint climbed onto her cheeks. "W-well, I was—we were so freaked out when we found out about it. We were so worried, right, Sora?"

The brunet teen, who had been spacing out for a while was startled when he was suddenly called. "Ah, um, yes we were, Riku." Sora smiled at the taller teen.

"Geez, Sora, you're zoning out a lot lately. What have you been thinking?" Kairi tilted her head slightly out of curiosity.

The brunet chuckled in response, shrugged and said, "unimportant stuff."

'_Yeah, "unimportant stuff'." _Riku snorted. How could his friend labelled his cancer as "unimportant stuff"?

She scrunched her tiny nose. "Okay if you say so. I'm leaving, class is starting soon. See you later, guys!" Kairi walked away from their class as she was waving her hands towards the boys.

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><p>Riku was inside his car, sitting patiently on the driver's seat. After waiting for a while, a brunet teen knocked the window lightly and Riku opened the lock, letting the brunet in.<p>

"Sorry it took me quite long." He smiled sheepishly; just like every time he admitted his stubbornness. Sora sat comfortably on the seat and closed the door cautiously. "Where are we going?"

The asked teen didn't answer, but he slowly hit the gas pedal and went up to the road. Few seconds passed and just before Sora repeated his question, Riku answered.

"Sora, take a look at the paper on the back seat."

Sora craned his neck to the back seat, looking for the intended item. He saw some stacks of papers and took one of them. He started reading it, words by words and he was struck by the piece of paper that had some printed words on it.

"What are these supposed to mean?" He asked, eyebrows knitted and his voice was low, filled with demanding confusion.

"I searched for some information about your cancer," Riku took a quick glance and continued, "and also foundation for cancer sufferer and found one which I think capable to help you."

"You don't have to do it, Riku. I've searched about it and there was none of them which could fund 100% of total bills. Let alone staying at hospital, they couldn't even make it fully free for chemotherapy."

"I know, but we can manage the rest of the bill." Riku didn't avert his eyes from the road, but he knew that Sora was protesting about it. "I've signed you up and today will be your first chemotherapy."

"_We?_ It's _your _money! You can't just sign me up and use your money for cancer treatment, Riku!" The brunet huffed; his whole body slouched on the seat. "I don't want to use your money. I hate being a burden and you know that well, right?"

The question hung in the dry air without anyone dared to speak. The silence was then broken by Riku's long sigh.

"It's okay, Sora. I have savings and my parents wouldn't _know_ nor _care_ about the money." That was true. Since he realized that he was gay, Riku had decided to live on his own. He knew exactly that his parents were homophobic and he couldn't let them know, so he had chosen to leave before they found it out. And his house wasn't the most comfortable place to live, after all. Riku's parents were mostly not home, working abroad. They supported Riku financially—and everyone could say that Riku came from a well off family—but the teen had never gotten any emotional support. He missed a mother and a father's touch that in the end he had forgotten how they felt and decided not to remember it. Riku _had_ to live on his own.

"But they're still _your _money!" Sora yelled, definitely disagreeing from what his friend had done.

"Which means I can use it as I like." He smugly answered, winning the argument.

Couldn't find any better way to deny, Sora pursed his lips, pouting in response. He had never liked to be a burden for someone, especially if it was about money. He hated the feeling of being pitied—Sora knew that Riku didn't pity him, he purely wanted to help, but it was all the same. He became useless and he felt disgusted for being so.

"I've paid for it, Sora. Are you going to let my money go waste?" Riku knew that Sora was stubborn—he hated any kind of help because of his phobia of being useless. But he had determined to help his crush out in any condition.

"That's your own fault!" His voice was still high pitched out of anger. His cobalt blue eyes were staring out of the window, emptily looking at the blurred scenery. Sora let out an exasperated sigh. He was being childish and he knew that he should've been grateful on Riku's kind offer on the first place.

Suddenly the shorter teen's left hand reached Riku's palm on the gearshift, squeezing it lightly. "I love you, Riku," said Sora timidly, and then he added, "you're a great friend. I don't know what would I be without you."

'_Love_', thought Riku. Of course, just like Sora had said, he only loved him as a _friend_, not like the way Riku loved him. Both happy and sad, Riku didn't bother to make any movement towards the act, didn't even say a word.

"Too bad I will only last a year." Sora swallowed the large lump inside his throat. It was difficult to realize that you only had 1 year left in this world. He wished he had done a lot of things until this point so he wouldn't regret any seconds in his miserable life. Maybe asking Kairi out would be a way to make him happier before the last seconds of his life? "What will happen if I die?"

Scowling, Riku was clearly disturbed by the thought of Sora leaving them in no more (or, hopefully not, even less) than a year, plus the repeated question about what would happen if he died. "No, Sora. You will live, long and happy." He nodded, emphasizing what he had just told to the brunet, mostly reassuring himself as well.

The suffering teen didn't say any other words, he simply smiled at Riku. He had never known that Riku could be this naive. But then, there was nothing wrong with hoping. Maybe there would be a miracle.

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><p>Riku opened the door slightly, peeking inside the room to make sure that he wasn't on the wrong place. He saw his brunet crush lying on the bed with his eyes wide open. He looked worse compared before the chemotherapy: his sun tanned face looked duller and a shade lighter, his body covered in oversized hospital gown which made him looked smaller. Opening the door wider, he stepped inside, making his way to his friend's bed. Sora perked up when he saw Riku, feeling that everything would be okay just by his friend's presence. The silver haired teen helped Sora to get up from his sleeping position into a sitting one. Weakly, Sora made a relieved smile on his pale lips.<p>

"How do you feel?" Riku sat on the chair right next to the bed and dragged it closer to Sora with his feet. He then offered his own smile, trying to make the brunet feel better, or if he couldn't, at least he wouldn't make it worse.

"Weird." A chuckle escaped Riku's mouth. "But if it helps me to cure my cancer, I think I can take it."

Suddenly Riku's phone went off and the owner quickly took it out from his pocket. Kairi was calling him. He glanced at Sora and said, "It's Kairi. I'm answering."

Sora put a finger on his lips and "shh"d, a gesture to remind Riku not to tell a thing to Kairi. Riku nodded—he would keep it a secret even though he had to lie.

"Hey, Kairi."

"_Riku! Where are you and Sora? I went to your class and you both were already missing!" _Kairi yelled on the phone, but it was out of worry rather than anger.

"I wasn't feeling well, my head hurt, so I went home earlier. Sorry 'bout that." Well, it wasn't completely a lie, his head _did_ feel bad, and to tell the truth, it was _still_ throbbing. "As for Sora, he had to do his project quickly. Tomorrow is, like, the deadline."

"_Really? Sorry to hear that, Ri. Make sure to take your meds." _Her voice was dead worried and Riku could admit that sometimes Kairi could be overly concerned about things. That wasn't wrong because something could actually be... _serious_.

"Yeah, yeah, I get it. Talk to you later, Kairi. I need some rest." Exhaling, Riku hung the phone off. He shifted his eyes back to Sora only to find him pouting.

"You sounded so rude to her." The brunet was clearly annoyed by Riku's way of talking to his crush. Of course Sora wasn't going to scold Riku, but at least the silver haired teen would understand what he meant. "I think you can treat her in a... better way."

Riku completely understood with what Sora was trying to say but, to be fair, he had treated Kairi better than any other girls that he had known. It was only about his sexuality that made him leave some space around girls. But Riku knew that there would be no good to argue with Sora. "Okay, I'm sorry about that. My bad."

Sora hummed in lieu of answer and Riku already knew that the brunet had forgiven him—Sora had never had grudge against someone, especially his best friends.

Unsteadily, the blue eyed teen moved one of his legs, throwing it down to the ground slowly. His friend quickly helped him to get off from the bed, putting him on his feet. Wobbling, Sora grabbed Riku's shirt to keep his balance. Suddenly he felt the nausea climbing from his stomach onto his throat and Sora vomited almost all over the places despite the fact that Riku was still holding him—he couldn't tolerate the sickening sensation. Although a little startled, Riku still had Sora inside his arms so that the teen wouldn't fall. The aquamarine eyed teen was staring worriedly at his friend's sickness until he got rid of whatever he had had inside his stomach. After Sora seemed to have finished, Riku herded him to the bathroom shortly after pressing the help button to call a nurse or two so they could help to clean the mess.

"I'm sorry, Riku." Sora sobbed weakly between his coughs inside the bathroom with Riku on his side, taking his attempt to clean the brunet's dirty shirt and his own, too.

Opening one of the drawers, Riku found some clean towels and took one of them. He damped it with water from the faucet and brought it to the brunet who was on his stance, still sobbing. "It's alright, Sora," said Riku, his voice was delicate and calming, as he cleaned Sora's chin and then moved to his hands. "It's not your fault." Riku rinsed the towel and then proceeded to clean Sora's dirty, wet gown. At least he had to make the brunet clean before himself.

"I hate it," he whispered, "I hate being so useless." It might sounded like a simple thing to someone who didn't know Sora, but Riku knew better. When Sora was castigating himself like what he was doing right now, it meant that he was _really _depressed. "You're dirty because of me, Riku."

"It was nothing."

"You must be disgusted. You're all dirty."

Sora was already clean despite his damp hospital gown, so Riku was now cleaning his vomited shirt. After all had been done, he washed his hands clean and grabbed the brunet's wrist, taking him back to his bed. A petite black haired nurse was sweeping the vomit on the floor and Riku could hear Sora mumbled a timid "sorry" towards the nurse, ashamed with what had happened. Not so long after that, the nurse left them with the now clean floor, shining just like nothing had happened.

Riku made Sora sat on the edge of the bed, his feet hanging down and his face was facing Riku's own. "Listen, Sora." His voice had a serious tone on it, making Sora gulped nervously. Riku's headache had gotten worse thus he had to talk slowly. "Please don't say that you're useless. I personally think that you're the most helpful person I have ever known." Riku smiled convincingly and continued, "you're _the only person_ who is able to make everyone smiles easily just by your presence. Even the whole room would light up on your smile, Sora. You've never failed to make us happy. I'm no good at words, moreover motivating someone—especially _you,_" Riku pressed a finger on Sora's chest for an emphasize, "the one who motivates us in your optimistic mind."

Fiddling with his fingers, the crestfallen teen now had a little smile on his face. He knew very well that Riku wouldn't lie to him and he could always trust Riku. So he decided that that would be better not to be depressed over little things. He had to be strong and get through everything he would face. "Thank you," uttered him gingerly.

Riku returned the smile, but bigger. He was fascinated that he was actually able to make Sora less-depressed. He ruffled the brunet's hair playfully and let Sora punched him lightly for messing his hair and they both laughed. The tension had left them and now a warm atmosphere was surrounding them.

At least they could feel a little happiness before death came to one of them.

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A/N: Hello! Sorry it took me long to update, but I hope you enjoyed reading it :) The scene at the car, when Sora told that he loved Riku, it was taken from a real scene. I used to sit next to my father on the front passanger seat and he'd take my hand and said that he loved me. I should've done the same thing, but there's nothing else I can do. Anyway, leave a review to tell me if this chapter was good or bad. I'd love to get some feedback. Cheers! –Anwy.


	3. Changes

**Proof of the Dying**

**.:: Chapter III – Changes ::.**

_Friday, 17 October 20XX_

_Okay, I've ignored this diary for a month, and it is bad. But the test weeks were something I had to face. I had studied hard, but I think I was losing my focus easily. It took me longer to study nowadays. I used to teach Sora, but now I needed him to teach me. Weird. And in the end, his scores are higher than mine. Maybe it was because of... _that_?_

_Nothing much happened for a month other than the test weeks. Sora has been going to the chemotherapy regularly, once a week. I can only wonder how can he get through the therapy—the __vomiting__ doesn't sound pleasant. Moreover, the chemotherapy seems starting to take its toll. I hope he'd be okay soon. And I hope he won't mind with what I've done later after he cut his hair..._

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><p>The boys were sitting in their classroom. The teacher had just come in and he was distributing one of the tests result to the students. Some of them squeaked happily, knowing their results were considered as good, and some other were sighing when they found out the results weren't something to be proud of.<p>

But there was one boy who wasn't happy and wasn't sad as well. It was the "perfect boy", no other than Riku Hiver. He was utterly surprised, seeing the mark on his test paper. He couldn't believe it—it was another B+. It wasn't the worst score in the human kind ever, but still, it was considered as a catastrophe in Riku's dictionary. Moreover, it wasn't the first score in his tests weeks with something other than his usual A+. He had gotten another B+ (and even B-) on his other tests. Some of the students were asking Riku, also surprised with the boy's score, knowing that Riku had been having straight As in his scores on the previous test weeks, which was few months ago. Riku only shrugged to them—he also didn't know. Or maybe he _knew, _but he _wasn't sure_ about the reason. Of course when he was doing the test he knew that he didn't do it well and the part of him had expected such score. But the other part of him hadn't expected that would actually happen.

When Sora saw Riku's test result, his smile fell. The brunet was concerned: why would Riku get such a bad score? He had always been perfect and even Sora sometimes was jealous of his friend's succession. But now his own scores were even higher than Riku's, and he wasn't proud of them. He felt bad, but there was nothing he could do.

"Don't be sorry," Riku said, as if he was able to read Sora's mind.

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><p>The sky was bright red and yellow, with the sun starting to drown slowly below the horizon. In that time of the day, the air should've been cooler, but not that day. Riku was walking down the street right after he had finished all things he should've done at school. The heat was unbearable that Riku was sure he could cook a perfectly fried egg on his silvery, highly reflective hair.<p>

The teal eyed teen went through the door, entering a café. The cool air hit him once he entered the café, and he was fully grateful for that. Kairi and Sora had gone to the café earlier instead of waiting for Riku. He approached the intended table and he saw his friends had already ordered their dessert. Both were chatting happily but then it was interrupted when the sound of chair being dragged was heard, and then Riku sat on it.

"You're late, Ri."

"Just as I expected," the brunet chuckled: he knew exactly Riku's bad habit.

"But I'm only 5 minutes late, guys. And it wasn't even my fault. I had to see the teachers." They were asking about Riku's bad scores, obviously.

The girl _tsk-tsk_'d whilst shaking her head. "Always 5 minutes late, for your record."

Smirking, Riku threw his hands in the air, surrendering. "Okay, I give up. My fault, I'm sorry." And both Sora and Kairi laughed, and then Riku joined them.

After ordering a drink, Riku relaxed on his chair, trying not to mind about his bad scores and enjoying his surrounding instead. The café was a cozy place to hang out with its tasty-but-not-too-pricey food. The decorations weren't bad either, it was simple and minimalistic but still looked elegant on the same time. More to teenager's likings, the cooling air conditioners were a really good perks when it was unexpectedly hot outside.

"Why did you suddenly ask us to go here, Kairi?" Interrupting their chatter again, Riku raised a question.

"It's been a long time since the last time we went here! So, why not?" She shrugged. It was true, though. They used to spend their free time on the café just to simply chat together, enjoying cold drinks or sweet desserts. She scooped a plenty of ice cream out of her parfait and ate it blissfully.

"Well, yeah, we've been busy with school and such. It's nice, though, to relax for a while." Sora beamed, already halfway done on his strawberry cheesecake.

The silver haired teen nodded, silently agree with his friends. Sora then excused himself to go to the toilet, leaving Riku and Kairi alone.

"Why 'Ri'?" Riku started, trying to make a conversation with the girl.

"Huh?" She swept her crimson strands behind her ears and her face was showing her puzzled expression.

"This might be unimportant, but I've been wondering for ages. Why are you calling me with 'Ri'? I mean, my name's short enough, right?"

Kairi's blue eyes swiveled around the room, avoiding Riku's own, as a tinge of reddish color crept onto her cheeks. "U-um, it's just... cute," she coughed. "Just that."

Riku stared at her but didn't say anything. He then shrugged and let the topic dropped.

Kairi put her elbows on the table, laced her fingers and leaned her chin on it. "Say, Ri, do you have any crush?" She asked, curiosity filled her voice, her expression, which was an embarrassed one quickly changed into an interrogating one.

Quite surprised with the question, Riku didn't answer right away. "Why?"

Kairi pouted. "Just answer it."

Well, that would be difficult for him. He didn't want anyone to find out that he had a crush on Sora, that would be way too embarrassing! And Riku was clever enough to know that one question could've led to another one. So, no way he was to answer that.

Riku shrugged again—the only way to avoid the question which was still reasonable enough to do.

The girl huffed, her shoulders dropping. She was curious to death, but she didn't want to push Riku either. Suddenly, her phone vibrated. At first Kairi wanted to ignore it, but then she fished it out from her pocket and glanced at the screen. "It's Sora," she read the name out loud.

"Sora?" The boy's attention directed to Kairi, who was then reading the message from the brunet.

"He said he's going to take a while. He has a nosebleed." She looked at Riku in wonder.

Riku was trying to hide his concern, deciding whether he should've gone after the brunet or let him be. He was worried that Sora would've collapsed or something, but going after him would've created a suspicion for Kairi. In the end, Riku only nodded, deciding just to wait there with Kairi, praying that everything would be okay.

Kairi seemed to be calm about the matter: it was only a nosebleed, she thought. Of course she didn't know what had caused the nosebleed because she had no idea that Sora had a cancer. But Kairi was a sensitive girl, especially when she was around her friends—she knew something was up. Kairi wasn't sure what was going on, but she then tried to ask.

"What's going on between you two?" Her voice was a half whisper, low and careful. Riku didn't like the tone.

"What do you mean?"

"There's something between you and Sora that I haven't known. What is it?"

Riku inhaled, trying to calm himself and looked for an appropriate answer. He didn't want to lie to Kairi, but he had to keep his promise. "Nothing. You're just thinking too much, Kairi."

The girl wasn't sure if Riku was telling the truth, but she couldn't pry him as well. It wasn't that she didn't trust her friends, but why would they be secretive towards her? After all, they had been friends for years. But if they hadn't had any intention to tell her, she would just let them be. It might've not been the right time for her to know.

"Okay if you say so, Ri." She mused and then continued, "I trust you and Sora." Kairi's lips formed a sweet smile adorning her face. "Especially you, Riku."

The boy felt that something was different from Kairi—the atmosphere suddenly changed. "Me?"

"Mhm, you." She bit her lips and then exhaled deeply. Slightly trembling, her lips made another words: "I have had a crush on you, Riku, for years."

Riku's face was bemused out of surprise. He didn't know how to respond. Kairi looked down on her lap, her cheeks was hot. She bit her lips again, hoping that Riku wouldn't have heard her heart which was thumping loud. He had never expected that Kair would have a crush on him. Well, but now to think about it, Kairi had always been very nice to him. Sometimes she was even nicer to him compared to Sora. Not to mention that she even had a nickname just for Riku. And when Riku was hurt, Kairi would've been the first one who asked if he was okay, would've been the first one to give him any help he would've needed. It was Riku who had never noticed her little attentions.

But then, Riku thought, why now? The timing seemed to be too odd with all the changes around him. After not saying anything for a while, he managed to asked, "Why are you saying that now?"

She stared deeply into Riku's glistening blue green orbs, watching it carefully. "I didn't plan to do it this soon, but," she inhaled, "I suddenly have a bad feeling. Like, something between us—you, Sora and I—will change."

He furrowed his brows, clearly confused. "What do you mean?"

Just before she could answer it, Sora came back from the toilet. His collar had some dark red stain, probably the dried blood. His face was a shade paler and he looked queasy—definitely because of the loss of blood. Feeling the weird tension between his friends, he asked, "What's going on?"

Riku froze on his seat: he couldn't tell that Kairi had just confessed her feelings towards him. He couldn't and wouldn't let Sora know about that: it would hurt the brunet real bad, similar to what he had experienced when Sora told him that he liked Kairi. And he hadn't had the heart to do so. He didn't want to see his brunet crush being heart broken.

Kairi calmed her heart down and cupped her palms on her cheeks, hoping to cool them down with her hands. "Nothing, Sora." She then chuckled, something she would've always done to relax herself that it had become the part of her reflex.

Sora went to his seat and smiled. With eyes following Sora's movement, Riku was making sure the brunet was alright. But seeing the brunet continued to eat his cake, he eased a bit: despite his pale skin, Sora didn't look fragile at all. He still looked strong and full with will and spirit, just like the usual Sora. Smiling, the silver haired boy let his mind rest and continued to enjoy their time together while they could.

But then he realized, Kairi's confession wouldn't leave his mind easily.

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><p>"Thanks for the ride, Ri!" After closing the car door, Kairi waved them goodbye. Both of the boys waved back at her, and then Riku drove them away from Kairi's house.<p>

Some flecks of stars had appeared on the darkening sky. Under it, inside the car, nor Riku or Sora said a word, both deep in their own thoughts. At least until Sora decided to ask Riku about something he had had in his mind.

"Hey, Riku." His voice was small and timid, hidden behind the thick air between them. Sora shifted his body uncomfortably on the passenger seat.

Almost not noticing it, Riku answered quickly, "Yeah?"

"I think it's the chemo," Sora huffed; he wasn't fully sure what to say. "My hair is falling out." The brunet squeezed his palms together, feeling anxious. It was true that his hair was falling out. Even though only a small amount, it happened way too often. Sora could feel some bare part on his head, where his brown shiny hair used to be. His scalp was showing up every here and there that he had to comb his hair carefully so it wouldn't fall off too much and as well to cover the hairless part. Other than the baldness, his hair was duller: the brown color wasn't as bright and shiny as it used to be. All because of the pumped chemicals inside his body, just to fight the goddamn cancer.

Of course, after reading information about cancer sufferer, Riku had expected such turn of event. He had known that, slowly or quickly, the chemotherapy's side effect would show up.

"Want to visit the barbershop now?" Riku glanced aside only to find a sullen Sora. The cerulean eyes were staring emptily towards the road, the pouty lips was arching upward. "It's only 7 o'clock, you won't get home too late. Plus, tomorrow is Saturday and your chemo starts at 10. Nothing to be worried about, right?"

"Yeah," he answered reluctantly. He was still doubtful, though. If he was going to be bald, then how would he explain it to the others? Sora didn't want the others to find about his cancer, especially Kairi. He didn't like being pitied—he had experienced such even long time ago and now it was the last thing he would've liked to experience. He hated how people stare at him in pity. But, in the other hand, he had no other choices. Half-heartedly, he said, "Let's visit the barbershop."

Riku _hmm_'d in lieu of answer, approving the brunet's decision. He drove them to the barbershop nearby, Riku's trusted one. After parking his car, they both went inside the place.

"Hello, Riku, it's been a long time since the last time you cut your hair!" A pink haired man, about twenty something years old, approached Riku and grab a chunk of his silver hair gently. "Your hair is long enough to be cut, but it seems that you take care of your beautiful baby." He stroke Riku's hair in a smooth movement, as if treating a fragile object.

The teen jerked his head lightly, making his hair slipped off from the pink haired man's hand. "Thanks, Marluxia. But it's my friend's hair which needs to be treated tonight."

Marluxia, who seemed to be the shop's owner, shifted his attention to Sora, who had been standing silently behind Riku. "Oh, I see. What's your name, boy?"

"S-Sora," he stuttered. Sora had always been a scaredy-cat if it was about meeting new people. However, seeing the older man's manner towards Riku, Marluxia appeared to be a nice man.

"Sweet. Nice to meet you, Sora, and you can just call me 'Marly' instead of 'Marluxia'." The man smiled at him as he led Sora to the nearest chair. Sora sat down, facing the full body mirror right in front of him. He saw himself. He was already skinnier after losing some weights, and his skin was paler, not like his old, healthy tanned skin. His eyes were dark, not bright and sparkly as they used to be. Cancer had changed his appearance in only a month.

"Usually, I only monitor my workers here to make sure they're doing their job. But if it's Riku's friend, I don't mind doing some extra work."

Riku, who was already sitting on another chair not too far from Sora, rolled his eyes and continued to read the outdated magazine.

"Thanks, Marly, that's very nice of you." Sora smiled.

Marluxia put the gown on Sora and secured it on his neck. "So, Sora, what kind of haircut do you want?"

Sora hesitated. He glanced at Riku who, in return, simply smiled to reassure him. In the end he managed to answer: "Bald, please."

Not even wasting a minute, Marluxia proceeded to shave his hair. One by one, the brown strands of Sora's hair fell onto the floor. The pink haired barber hummed a song while shaving Sora's hair, gently treating the brunet's head. Sora stayed shut as the barber did his job.

Riku's eyes were directed to the magazine on his hands, but his mind was fully on Sora. Once in a while, he would glance at the boy to make sure he was okay. And Sora seemed to be calm enough on the whole process.

After no more than 20 minutes, Marluxia took the gown off and brushed some hair strands from Sora's shoulder. Sora looked at his reflection on the mirror and wholeheartedly accepted his new appearance. His head was shaved clean, no trace of his brown hair could be found. He touched it carefully, afraid with his new look. That way, he looked way skinnier. Sora made sure himself to eat more so he would gain some weight.

Shortly after that, they paid for the service and left the barbershop. Riku drove Sora back to his apartment.

"You look just fine, Sora." Riku smiled at him, patting his friend's shoulder before the brunet left his car.

"Thanks, Riku." He nodded. "It's way cooler with no hair. I'll save more money with not having to buy shampoo." Sora laughed softly, more like to convince himself rather than to joke about his haircut.

"It's better to be completely bald rather than having random bald parts like a neglected lawn, you know?" The taller teen smirked, trying to lift the brunet's mood.

"Thanks to you that now there's no grass on my lawn at all." Sora laughed, louder than before. His smile looked sincere, and Riku was grateful for that.

The silver haired teen chuckled and Sora left his car. After making sure that the brunet had gone into his apartment, Riku drove himself back.

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><p>At the moment when the door opened, the pink haired barber gave him a confused look. "Ah, did you leave something here? That was such a short time to leave only to come back here in 10 minutes."<p>

"No, I didn't leave anything, Marly. I had to drive Sora back to his apartment." Riku took a seat in front of the miror, where Sora had sat earlier. It appeared that his cut hair was already cleaned up.

"I see. You left your brunet friend, then. Why are you coming back here?" Marluxia questioned him, not fully sure what Riku was trying to do.

"I need a haircut too." He answered briefly, content with what he needed.

"Sure. What kind?"

"Exactly like Sora's."

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A/N: Hello! Sorry it took me so long to update. But here it is, chapter 3. I hope you enjoyed it :) The nosebleed scene was actually real. Oh, just to make it clearer, **the diary is always written ****after ****the day ends.** So basically, it's like what's happening now (the diary) and than the flashback (the story). Anyway, I hope it was good enough, I saw that some more people added this story to their follow/favorite list so thanks! Please leave a review, tell me if you like it or not. I'm open for critiques as well. Have a nice day ;) –Anwy.


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